Friday, December 17, 2010

THG Presents: Sex Tapes of the Year!

The celebrity sex tape. It's become as common as a Lindsay Lohan trip to rehab.
As has been the case ever since Paris Hilton experimented with a camera and a dream, 2010 was yet another year filled with aspiring amateur porn stars, all of whom used the power of their genitalia to make headlines and increase bank accounts.
Below, we present the first-ever THG Sex Tape Awards, handed out to the real, the rumored and the downright disgusting...
Most Despicable: The year kicked off with a rumor that John Edwards actually filmed a sexual encounter with Rielle Hunter. We scoffed at first, but it was then proven true. Horribly, depressingly, incomprehensibly true.
Rielle Hunter, No Pants
Most Likely to Involve Roses, Drama: Bachelor castoff Rozlyn Papa was kicked off the show for fondling a producer. No surprise that she likes it in front of a camera.
Least Clothed Use of Performance Enhancement Drugs: Mindy McCready, Baseball Mistress.
Highest grossing: In Kendra Exposed, we got up close and way too personal with Kendra Wilkinson. To this day, the Playboy model denies playing a role in the tape's release. She denies it all the way to the bank.
Most Vomit Inducing: Were we surprised that Danielle Staub let herself be penetrated on video? Of course not. But that didn't make it any more bearable to sit through.
Most Professional: Montana Fishburne wasn't shy about her foray into porn. She wants to be famous. Almost gotta admire that honesty, don't you?
Montana Fishburne Sextape
Least Likely to Exist and Yet Be Discussed Every Year Until 2019: Just go ahead and actually make one, Speidi. It's your only path back to relevance.
Least Shocking: Karissa Shannon, the busty blonde known only for posing in Playboy and sleeping with Hugh Hefner? Get out!
Most Yawn Worthy: Even if Brittney Jones did sleep with Ashton Kutcher, it doesn't make her suddenly attractive.
Most Likely to Hit the Market in 2011: Lindsay Lohan, Chad Johnson/Evelyn Lozada, Charlie Sheen, Bristol Palin, Hulk Hogan/Jennifer McDaniel, Any Real Housewife.

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